Getting Lucky

Last night, as I sat in my uncle's hot tub, listening to the waves crashing, looking at the stars, the very obvious thought finally crossed my mind- I'm lucky. I get so wrapped up in the future, that I forget to look around at where I'm at right now. I'm in an amazing place, surrounded by family who love me and friends that care. No matter what comes in the future, I have to remember these days as some of my best. I have no bills. That's huge! Outside of work, there's no one who I report to. If I decide to drive 45 minutes away to get the best milkshakes around, I can. If I want to stay out until 5 am dancing with strangers, I can. What's more, I actually do these things. If I had children, or roommates, or a dog even, there would be someone or something counting on me to be home, to be responsible. I can do what I want, when I want to, which is a luxury many people just don't have.

There are so many blogs that talk about the struggles that people face, infertility, death, depression- and I don't face any of them. Any problems that I do face seem minuscule in comparison. Some of the hardest times I've experienced were in college, when I struggled with money. The looming bills each month constantly weighing on my brain, I was always stressed. With the clarity that comes with time, I can see now that I was stressed, but not depressed. Depression is something that many of the people close to me struggle with. Looking at the genes, the stats, and the fact that it's not something I face, I have to come to the same conclusion- I'm a lucky little whippersnapper.

So how can I save these moments? How can I capture this luck? The term 'live in the moment' comes to mind, but how does one actually do that? Stop planning so far ahead? I feel like there's some kind of deeper appreciation that I need to tap into. I'm open for suggestions as to how. I'll start today by setting aside a little time to hang my legs off the stone wall at my uncle's place and soak in the view of the ocean spread in front of me... and perhaps tonight I'll dance with a few strangers.