Moving on, I've been wondering all morning, what's the difference between being a doormat and being easy going? I think it might have something to do with letting things go that you can't change (thanks serenity prayer) but I'm having trouble walking the line between the two options.
My inquiry is sparked by two things. First, I'm in line for a new contract at the school I work at. I know what I want: to be English coordinator for the middle school and I have a certain number in mind for my salary. With these two things, I will sign a contract to stay for next year. If not, I'm going to have to seriously think about it. But do I go to them and say- 'this is what I want'? Or do I wait for them to offer and then counter with what I'm looking for? Who knows, they might have a way higher number in mind... or way lower. So do I sit back and wait or actively push my own agenda?
Secondly, I'm currently in a relationship. The ex of the guy keeps popping into the picture. They have a good relationship, and I'm all for being friends with ex's. I'm putting on the "chill girlfriend" front, repressing any jealousy or urges to scream, "If she calls you again, I'll shank a
hoe!", because, you know, that would not be very chill. So last night he gets a call from her at 5 am. I hear her tell him she's outside and ask if he's busy... (this is the part where I am trying my hardest not to grab the phone or better yet, walk outside) Like a good boy, he tells her he's happily asleep with the girlfriend he loves and she hangs up. The whole thing seems very sketchy. So what is my plan of action here readers? Is it a doormat move to let him handle it? Would it look bad for me to politely ask her to stop such tomfoolery? (Ask her with my fists? I mean....)
I know I'm in charge of my own life, making my own destiny. But at what point should I bulldoze my way to my own goals and when should I allow life to offer me what it has to give? Hmm.
1. You should tell your school that you want to be English Coordinator but wait for them to submit an offer and then you counter-offer. Simple rules of finance dictate that you never present the first offer; if you are pushed, say "I want what is fair and equitable for this position in the market."
ReplyDelete2. You can't do anything about a sketchy ex-girlfriend and becoming a doormat would involve you looking the other way as he does what he pleases without a second thought. Furthermore, you shouldn't be with someone who has that kind of baggage. That is just way too much drama for any self-respecting woman. You are too good to do that to yourself. There are plenty of intelligent, interesting, kind, attractive and baggage-less men out there and you can find one if you can finally find the courage to cast off your painful heels and the losers that come with them.